New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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