somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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