So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
