I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
