I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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