We won't sleep together?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Say something about gay babies.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
