her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize