They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
