This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
