i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
