i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
