PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize