More tranny stories later!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
