btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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