I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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