We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
