I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
