we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
