You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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