I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
