Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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