You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize