Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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