the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
