a queef is a wish your heart makes.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
