I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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