we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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