Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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