Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
