i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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