You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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