he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
