Nicole vs. Life
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
