i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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