Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
