Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
