Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize