Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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