I puked a lego.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize