its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
