Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
