Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
