Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
