Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
