I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
