I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
