Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
