found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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