she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
