So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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