I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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