I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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