Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
