as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
