Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
