lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
