is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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