3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
